Fear

While you were sleeping in ur bed I was awake crying my heart out....

For the first time, crying in the middle of the night with nobody there to comfort me to could be so...
Scary, terrifying, painful, lonely...
I'm scared.... I feel so lonely.....I feel as if there is no one to be there for me....as if my world have ended and there is no reason for me to wake up tomorrow...the feeling is so fearsome....I'm scared...I'm very very scared... This kind of fear and loneliness is devouring me....I have nothing....





You hated me crying...so?? Leave me??? If yes then let me know.

I give up.

I'm losing myself. No, I have lost myself.

This is the end of me. I'm driven to insanity.

Take a knife and ripe my heart out.








From now on, just going to nothing.

Your love for me have turned into hatred.

You no longer wait till I cry finish. This time you said that you hate me crying and if I cry, you don't want me anymore.

So, I didn't cry in front of you. I hold my tears and bite my lips to refrain myself from crying in front of you. I bear all the pain to myself.

You said that you hate it when I'm angry. You said it reminded you of them. Because of this you hate me more. Have you thought that you're being unfair to me,thinking me as them when I scold you? They scold you of no reasons, I scold you with reasons.

So, I keep all the anger to myself and said nothing,pretending nothing is wrong.

Now, even a slight tears or anger from me would make you hating me more.

I'm with a guy I love very much for more than 10 months....
It wasn't easy nor sunny all the times...
There are sad and happy moments...
It was difficult for me to be with him... As I need to adjust...
Especially when dealing with his family...
We both come from a complicated family... I understand ....but am I not eligible in the eyes of his family??
At times I feel I don't belong yet I tried....I tried the best I could....am I really that bad??
I feel I'm being rude but sometimes I do find them to be annoying....sighs....
On the other hand...he...
Today I can't take it....when we started they say we talk on the phone too much so it stop...then now say we SMS too much so it stop... Sooner will be us seeing each other too much so it shall be stop??
In their eyes they feel I'm taking him away from them.....but the fact is he obligates to them can't they see it??
At times I also feel that I'm not welcomed by them...
Am I that inferior to them??
I know I'm not for I'm better but even I can't take its they keep bruising my confidence...
I can give in but i have my limitation as well....I'm hurt n wounded....feels like stepping back n just see it as it be...hopes it's working out...
And he just listens to their every order....I know they are concerned but sometimes they tend to be unreasonable n irrational...
If he get married is he going to remain forever this way??
...just hope when he has his own family he won't be still under their control n obeys to them...

Semester 1 Over, Exam Over, HOliday!!

Today is the 6th day of my holiday eversince I finished my Semester 1 Finals...
I hoped I get HD >.< All the Best~~~
I still got 2 weeks of holiday to go...but...I'm already broke before my holiday starts...how sad and pathethic...
I wonder what will I be doing throughtout this holiday....
Rotting at home? Adding more pounds? Endless outings? TV Marathons? Or maybe Reading a book?? o.O?!!
Any suggestions??
Hope it doesnt turn bad >.<
After this holiday it will be a long semester and worst..there is a long way before there is any holidays T.T
More subjects!! More Assignments!! More Test !! More stress!!
Aiks!!!!
Save me!!!
Until then I better have a good long rest first before I'm all worn out.

Ciaoz~^^

White Valentine's

Have you all ever heard of White Valentine's?

I'm sure not many have ever heard abt it because this day is more popular in Japan.
In Japan it is a custom for the ladies to give the gentlemen chocolates or gifts on Valentine's Day as an expression of love. On White Day, the converse happens: the gentleman who received chocolates or gifts on Valentine's Day are expected to return the favor by giving gifts to the lady of their heart as an answer.
However, Valentine's Day is much popular and is celebrated throughout the world where lovers and couples would spent time together and exchange gifts.
This time I finally received my first box of chocolate of love from a guy whom I love.
P.s: Sry ya bii...I forgotten abt this day altough I'm the one who told u this more than a month ago...>.<
Can you all believed it that I finally received chocolate from a guy after all this years?? hahaha XD
Hard to believe huh? but it's true...

CNY is over~

In a blink of an eye, CNY has past...today is the last day....

Let's see...what I have been doing for the past 15days of CNY...

>>>gained weight....eat and eat and eat....fish, prawn, chicken, duck, pork, beef, mutton,vege, beancurd, all oso eat XD

>>>lou shang 4times only this year...last year uncountable >.<....

>>>spend all my angpao money...

>>>new hairstyle....

>>>went to pai nin with my Sri Garden ex-classmates...7 houses in a day@.@...then lou shang at Overseas Restaurant in PGRM...

After..

Ready...

Before..

@.@ You all do know it's not ur hse rite???

This happens when the parents is not around...

HAMSAP UNITS 5SC1 2008*part of the members*

Each hse owner will be initialised by all the guest XD

Yeap....dead...

SY The Manager of the Day for Truffles

For the time ever, I have been honourably invited by SY to dine at Truffles~

We have been talking abt this eversince she went into Culinary Arts..

Finally today I have the chance to experience it^^

Today's theme is Indian Food~

Today's Menu

I totally forgotten to snap at the maincourse cuz I was too hungry @.@

Forgive me (>.<)

Dont hide from the camera Yi Lin ^^~

Mocktail~ Yummy~~

Valentine's Day and the First day of CNY

For the first time ever, Valentine's and CNY fall on the same date..

Most of the couples were worried because they are thinking...to go with the family or with the loved ones...

Even before the day comes, radios and everyone were all talking about it...How??Which to go to??Some even comforted saying that every day is Valentine's when they are together...

So at the end of the day what is the answer? Well it all depends on the individuals...

In my case, I was not expecting that I'll go with my boyfriend because I knew I cannot escape fro family dinner even if I wanted to.. He was hoping that he could bring me out with him...

Eventually I managed to have both with my family and his.

The next day we went up to Genting just for a fresh air~~

Blekkk!!!

Where's my Valentine's gift???

My goodness...
College has been so busy but I love it here..
Everything is going smoothly..
Hope my blog doesnt dies (>.<)

Orientation Ends~

So fast it has already been a week I have been in the Lakeside Campus.
I love it here~
Everyone in my program has been very nice and friendly^^
I meet new people and more friends~
They are all so funny as well^^
But next week have to be serious dy.. no more folling around this year..next week real classes dy..
No more free and easy...

Taylor's Lakeside Campus~

Wooohooo~~
Taylor's Lakeside Campus here I come~~

Loneliness~

Sometimes I wish you can beside me...

Especially during the cold nights and when I'm the only one awake where everyones is asleep...

The silent is killing me...

Nobody dare to approach me and mostly keep their distance from me...

Where is everyone?

Where are you?

This loneliness and silence is killing me...

I'm afraid...

I'm scared...

I don't want to be alone.

Random Shots During Shopping Sprees~~

Suresh~Coco~Me~

Coco and I

Pavilion

Mid Valley